After Everything

If you had asked me years ago what life would look like at 56, I don't know I would have guessed any of it.

Not the twists.

Not the detours.

Not the heartbreak.

Not the unexpected joys.

Like most people , I thought life moved in a straight line. You grow up, make your plans, and follow them.

Life had other ideas.

I left home at 18.

I married young.

I made mistakes.

I learned lessons the hard way.

There were seasons I felt strong and seasons I felt completely lost.

There were moments that stretched me beyond what I thought I could endure.

Moments that changed me forever.

For a long time, I measured my life by what happened to me.

The challenges.

The losses.

The unexpected turns.

But somewhere along the way, I began to see something different.

I wasn't just surviving those experiences.

I was becoming because of them.

Not all at once.

Slowly.

Year after year.

Choice after choice.

Season after season.

Recently, I was accepted into a college program that will allow me to earn the degree I never finished decades ago.

My first reaction wasn't excitement.

It was panic.

Can I do this?

Am I too old?

Is it worth it?

What if I fail?

The questions came quickly.

Then another thought quietly followed.

Three years are going to pass whether I do this or not.

And for the first time, I saw my life through a different lens.

I wasn't standing at the end of my story.

I was standing in the middle of it.

After everything life had asked of me, after all the seasons I thought might break me, after all the times I had to begin again, I realized something.

I wasn't finished becoming.

Not even close.

xo Julissie